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The days are just zooming by, soon I will actually catch up to the Present, anyways on Day 7, I did my health check and got my residence Permit, oh boy… what a day
So I went to another police station, this was more fancy; I think it’s the main Police station, Meow Meow said I would be interrogated, and she said:
“If Police ask um.. err. wut you do in our school, you say nothing, I am new, or education advisor. Yes yes, you are education advisor at our school.”
No problem, I’m used to lying to get things done, but just like in the apartment scheme, nobody even said a word to me, they just talked to Meow Meow, she is really good with people.
Next was the health exam, I already did mine in Canada, but they said
“It all wrong, this no work, must do again”
So of we went, there were 6 six rooms, and you had to fill like a bunch of paperwork, and attach 5 pictures of yourself:
Room number 1: Eye exam:
“Read this: [COLOR BLINDNESS TEST]
The signs were upside down, but I still managed to read them, they didn’t really care though.
“Go sit there, left, right, up, down”
This wasn’t your typical eye chart with letters, you had these crazy designs and you had to say which way they were pointing, again they barely speak English so they knew nothing what I was saying.
Room number 2:
I liked this room, the doctors oiled me up, put some round things on my body, and they did their thing, in Canada, they did they same thing except in the process of taking out the tweezers, they also took out my chest hair, which was a serious bitch. Tip of my hat to China, Wag of my finger to Canada!
Room number 3:
Some lady did the same thing, but asked me lie down on my back and front, and asked to get a deep breath in and out, she then proceed to massage my neck, OK, moving on
Room Number 4:
The weight and height test, I don’t remember my weight, but I lost of few pounds during my trip here, I could tell since my pants were almost falling down. I measured at 6.1 feet, or 186 Meters. I though I was 6.2 though…
They also took my blood measure; I’m fine and dandy.
Room Number 5:
The x-ray room, they asked to enter some room, then I got bombarded with radiation and turned into the Canadian Hulk (wasn’t there a big guy in Alpha flight?)
Room Number 6: The mother of all rooms, the blood test room
Well first I had to give them my urine sample, and guess what? I had to use the public toilet to do that, so I make my trip all the way there, shake it and then bake it, but the cup won’t close!! So I had to carefully maneuver my way back to the room, where they take a wee bit of my urine and ask me to dispose it in the LOCAL GARBAGE CAN. Everyone like went
“EEEEEEEEEW!”
aww shadap, the lot of you
Finally, the blood test, I pleaded with Meow Meow to ask for a brand new syringe, even willing to pay for it, she thought I was joking.
HUH?!? JOKING?!?
The so-called nurse, comes up to me, stabs me in the fucking arm, then leaves me. LEAVES ME!
I like go, WTF do I do?
I release the pressure from my arm, and blood goes everywhere, Meow Meow is so brave, takes cover (I would too), then some lady comes up and gives me a Band aid and a small tissue, I like go “che che” and she goes “yes yes”, “thank you, thank you” she says “your welcome, your welcome”.
ARGHHH! And we had to pay like 500 RMB fo’ this crap!!! And I already did it too, I had all the test results, all the charts, SIGH!
1 comment:
haha, I remember the stabbing. they make you bleed like crazy, only all they gave me was a Q-tip! And my urine sample was just a little plastic cup with no lid that I had to walk down the hall with.
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